Powerback! 💪

After almost 3.5 years since my diagnosis, I’ll be returning to the work that I love. I’ll be starting a job this week with a company called “Powerback” where I’ll be doing home care visits providing physical therapy… ironic name considering the past several years of battling cancer. 😅 

I’m excited and grateful for not only this particular opportunity but just the privilege of being able to return to work as a PT, as there were many times when I questioned whether I’d be able to have the strength and endurance to do this again. So, my excitement is tempered by a sense of nervousness as I consider what I’ve been through and it’s just been such a long time! But I feel ready and take this next step of reintegration back to life in faith, knowing that God must have a plan for me. 

The initial thought of potentially doing home care PT crossed my mind while I was receiving home care nursing visits myself. I got to know many of my awesome nurses quite well and so appreciated their compassionate care as they not only treated me clinically but also walked alongside me through the ups and downs. I recall thinking to myself that if I were to get through this, that one day I’d love to be on the other side and provide home care to those like me. And here I am. Thankful and humbled. 😌

I pray that what I’ve been through will help me to be a blessing to others going through their own health issues, and I’ll be able to not only provide excellent clinical care but with an empathy that has been fostered through the fire. 🔥

It’s been almost a year since I was taken off my targeted therapy. Originally, I was supposed to take this treatment for five years but my oncologist felt that it would be best to stop it last year considering its cytotoxic side-effects. Since then, my blood counts and fatigue have improved, and I’ve continued to remain in remission. 🙏

I’m very thankful to have had this extended season to heal and recover in many ways. I’ve never exercised as regularly as I have during this season of cancer recovery, which has been a healthy habit that I hope to continue even as I return to work. I’m learning to “listen to my body” including heeding warning signs (and addressing them!) It’s been a battle not only physically, but also emotionally, even to this day. The latter is a side of cancer many people don’t see or hear about, whether it be dealing with PTSD or survivors guilt and grief. I’m thankful for a few dear friends who have provided wise counsel as I processed these difficult emotions. In turn, I’ve also had the privilege of walking alongside other “fellow fighters” who have been going through their respective battles. As a dear brother who has gone before me in this cancer journey has shared with me, it’s a responsibility I’ve been entrusted with… so I hope to steward it well.

I’m thankful for the loving support of dear family and friends like you all (honestly not sure who even reads these blog posts lol). I’m especially grateful for my wife Grace who’s stood by my side through it all. She’s truly been a rock through all the ups and downs we faced. I don’t know where I’d be today if it wasn’t for her steadfast love and support. We recently went on a special getaway at the beach before we begin this new chapter in our lives. It was a relaxing and needed time to reflect and look ahead as well. 

But above all else, I’m grateful to God for His sustaining grace. He was faithfully present in the darkest of nights and carried me through to this day. My brother Dan shared this song with me during one of the hardest times in the hospital when I was shivering uncontrollably from unrelenting fevers… it’s been on my playlist ever since:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0FBb6hnwTo

These lyrics resonated with me and gave me comfort and strength to fight:

… I love Your voice

You have led me through the fire

In the darkest night

You are close like no other

I've known You as a Father

I've known You as a Friend

And I have lived in the goodness of God

… And all my life You have been faithful 

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God