Hope and strength in suffering

The past few weeks have been particularly tough for some reason as I’ve tried to recover from my last cycle of chemo. Maybe it’s the cumulative effect of all the treatment so far? Either way, my body has taken a toll. 

I had shared with some friends that I wouldn't wish it on anyone but there's nothing like crying out for healing mercy and grace when you're in the thick of it... uncontrollably shivering in bed or writhing on the toilet. The other night, I was suffering from the fearsome foursome (fever, vomiting, nausea, and the big “D”). Sorry to be so graphic, but it was one of the worst nights so far for me and my family. 😓. Anyway, I knew that there has to be a lesson to be learned from all of this. 

With that looming in my mind, I recently read something written by a mom, Carole Carlson, who had lost her son in a tragic airplane accident. She said that... in the weeks and months to follow, I learned more about God’s love than I had in all my years... I learned that His word speaks to our needs. “My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)... When I felt helpless to do even the small tasks of the day, I’d repeat “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)... When I began to indulge in self pity, I’d embrace my husband who was suffering as intensely as I was, and remember that God said, “therefore comfort each another and edify one another, just as you also are doing.” (I Thessalonians 5:11)

I know that my momentary suffering does not compare to losing a child or loved one, but it begs me to find strength and reason not in myself but ask God what He wants to teach me through this all trusting He’s a good Father. My brother recently shared with me another passage from Romans 5:3-5:

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

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So as I continue to press on in faith, I strive to find purpose in this eternal hope and that God is molding my character as I endure this suffering. I don’t know if I’m there yet to “rejoice in it” (which seems impossible), but God’s not done with me yet! 😉 Carole Carlson went on to write: I wish for no one the experience of losing a child. But a far greater tragedy is to lose the opportunity to know Jesus Christ intimately. How grateful we are that our children know and love Him. Life has meaning for us simply because we have the assurance, when this life is over, we will all be reunited.  That is a hope that will never fail!  

Paul Tripp spoke about suffering as he went through great suffering of his own in the recent years saying: The one thing that will bring joy, peace, and lasting satisfaction to our heart is Jesus Himself. His presence, power, and grace changes everything. Hope is a person and His name is Jesus. Our God Emmanuel. And no one or nothing can take This away.  This has given me great hope and I pray for you as well as we endure various trials during these hard times.

I’ve shared this before as well from Paul Tripp that suffering reminds us that our lives are meant to be a community project. This has been one of the most significant yet tough lessons for our family as we’ve learned to allow others to enter this journey and humbly accept help in so many ways in which we may have declined in the past due to self-reliance or pride. 

One of the ways we’ve experienced this blessing is through the generous and thoughtful meals dear friends and family have provided for us. Words cannot express our gratitude esp. during this difficult time for us all with corona. And thank you for teaching us how to love well in word AND deed. Here’s a plate that one recent meal was on. The words touched our hearts (and the delicious food our tummys 😋!)