Thankful 😌

As I write my 100th blog post and reflect on the past 2 years since that fateful day when I was diagnosed with leukemia, I’ve been reminded of the many blessings that my family and I have received throughout this battle with cancer. Much of it is detailed in a testimony I shared at my church several weeks ago: 

I’ve been wanting to just say thank you to you all. And Pastor Bill thought a congregational meeting might be the most fitting place to do so cause so many of you who’ve blessed me and my family during this journey are in this room or streaming in right now.  And I realized it’s all the more timely as we recently celebrated Thanksgiving and have been able to reflect on our blessings. And it’s also timely cause it was almost exactly two years ago when I was here at church (the day before I went to the ER) when Betty told me that I looked especially tired... and I just dismissed it being due to the busyness of the holiday season. 

 

Just to fill you in as an update (or if you’re maybe new and aren’t aware of what I’m talking about), I was diagnosed with leukemia two years ago with positive Philadelphia Chromosome, the latter which was pretty much a death sentence in the past. But thankfully, cause of a targeted therapy which was discovered about 15 years ago, I’m able to be treated for the Philly chromosome mutation. And after searching for a donor match (which many of you prayed for), I was also able to receive a bone marrow transplant from my cousin last year. After my transplant, I struggled with some graft vs. host disease (also known as GVHD) in my GI tract, but am thankful to say I’m doing well now all things considered, and most importantly, I’m in remission now, by God’s grace.   

 

As you know, soon after I got cancer, Covid hit and it seemed like everyone joined my world of wearing masks, elbow bumps, and social distancing. And to top it off, my dear niece Tabitha got leukemia several months after I did (which was like 1 in a zillion chance). We praise God that she’s also doing well all things considered and has been a trooper through her treatment which will last til around next summer Lord-willing. I guess it’s an understatement to say that it’s been a crazy journey for our family these past few years. After my transplant, I had some bad side-effects from my 9 month steroid treatment for GVHD, and also PTSD hit pretty hard esp. as I processed and grieved the passing of several dear friends who I met along this cancer journey. So, it’s been an up and down battle, both physically and emotionally.

 

Thankfully, I was able to recently get my 3 Covid vaccine shots, and I got tested for antibodies this past week to see if they were effective considering my compromised immune status.

 

I’ve come to realize how I and we are so blessed in this country. There are many people around the world like in some parts of Africa who’ve been lucky to even just get one dose of the vaccine. And I was able to get a transplant while many cancer patients are not able to find a matching donor especially amongst underrepresented communities. And I’ve been able to receive World-class cancer treatment literally here in our backyard at Penn. 

 

All to say, words just can’t do justice to how my family and I are so grateful. And we’ll never be able to thank you all individually for the countless prayers and loving support you’ve blessed us with these past few years. They literally carried us through the darkest of nights. 

 

We’ve learned so many lessons from you guys about true sacrificial love, generosity, and community.

 

Paul Tripp has said that “suffering reminds us that our lives are meant to be a community project.”  

 

We truly experienced this first-hand in ways we at first did not want to. Cause it was hard to accept physical and financial help, and food so often (well maybe the food wasn’t that hard to accept!) :)  But seriously, we eventually realized that all of your loving support was God’s way of showing us His love and provision for us through you all. 

 

Speaking of food, we had a meal train that lasted for almost a whole year which many of you generously blessed our stomachs with!  Thanks especially to Billy for coordinating that and reminding folks week-in, week-out! You know the way to my heart is through my stomach. :)  And thank you Billy for speaking on my behalf when I was too tired to and even thinking on my behalf when I had chemo brain. Billy often thought of what me and my family needed in advance (and through your generous support, ordered stuff on Amazon, whether it was a broad brimmed hat to protect my bald head, an air purifier to protect my lungs, or an exercise bike to help my deconditioned body… including putting it together for me!). Thank you bro.

 

Thank you to those that visited me whether at my house, in the hospital, or even virtually!! Please know that each and every visit, text, email, or call meant so much to me. Thank you session guys for coming to the hospital that very first day when my eyes were swollen shut with tears after I got diagnosed with cancer and my world was flipped upside down. Your honest prayers over me that day were literally life-saving when things were in such chaos. Not only were you there for me and my family from day 1, but you’ve had our back along this whole journey. And as I’ve been out of commission and unable to actively serve on the session, you’ve all graciously sacrificed yourselves to allow me to rest and recover. I mentioned this to Mary and Daniel when he joined our session that these guys are true brothers, and shepherds who’d literally lay down their lives for us and our church. 

 

Thank you to the families and friends who took our kids for sleepovers and other fun stuff esp when Grace was in the hospital with me. Not to mention the care packages. And just asking Grace and our kids how they’re doing and praying for them. Loving on and taking care of my family was literally like taking care of me. We’ll never forget spending Xmas and new years in the hospital together...even doing a family sleepover! One of my kids recently said how the holidays that year were so special and even fun! Honestly, through everyone’s generosity and the amazing staff at HUP, we had one of the best holidays as a family… all things considered (you know aside from cancer and stuff!)

 

I’m also thankful for 5 Guys… not the burger joint but 5 PT brothers including Joe Song, Greg, and even Billy (who’s not even a physical therapist!) These guys came to my house to give me amazing massages when I had horrible bony pain cause of my meds. (I later found out that I actually wasn’t supposed to do that cause my blood counts were so low … but it felt so good!)

 

The list goes on and on, but we got other stuff on todays agenda (and there’s also an eagles game today.) But please know that we’re so grateful for each and every precious memory that is etched in our minds of love we received from so many of you.

 

But lastly I wanted to say thank you to Grace ...for being my rock...my iron-woman I lovingly call her. We recently celebrated a couple of milestone anniversaries and as we were recommitting our vows to one another, I was surprised when she said that she would do it all over again with me. I always feel bad when I think of all that Grace has had to deal with cause of me... cause I felt Iike she never signed up for all of this drama and suffering on our wedding day. But I’ve learned and seen through her unwavering love and support that she actually did, and she meant it!  Thank you hun. 

 

One final word. I’ve had the privilege of befriending a mentor who is a 6 year survivor of leukemia. He told me that “Blessing comes with responsibility.” 

 

As a church, I hope that we can continue to bless others as we’ve been so blessed, and especially to remember those that are suffering, cause there are many, even in our own church and community. As you’ve done for me and my family, let’s commit to pray for them and reach out in tangible ways to let them know that we’re thinking about them and they’re not alone. 

 

May we remember and share true Hope esp. this Advent season. As Paul Tripp has said, “Hope is a person and His name is Jesus. Our God Emmanuel. And no one or nothing can take This away. (Psalm 139:7-18) Thanks guys.

Though this sentiment was directed toward my church family, I feel the same for so many of you dear friends who’ve walked alongside me and my family throughout this battle with cancer. Words really can’t express our deep gratitude and appreciation for your loving support and prayers through this crazy journey. 

Overall, I’ve been feeling much better recently especially in terms of my energy. And thankfully, GVHD has not reared its ugly head again since I’ve stopped my steroid treatment. But one thing that I have noticed is that my endurance has not improved much over the past year and I get winded with minimal activity. So my doc recently ordered some tests for my lungs and my heart. 

Pulmonary function test 🫁

My lung diffusion (how much oxygen is going to my body) got a little worse post-transplant, but I think that’s what my doc was hoping it would be (as opposed to my heart or something worse!)🤪 The tech said my diffusion percentage is 48% (down from 58% pre-transplant) with 80% being normal. That would hopefully explain why I’ve been short of breath with activities like jogging. I also got an echocardiogram last week just to rule out anything with my heart. I still need to discuss the results of these tests with my doc, but she said at my last appt that the high-dose chemo and radiation could have done a number on my lungs. 

On that note, I have been trying to do more jogging and stair training these days to increase my aerobic endurance. It’s been slow-going 🐢 but I’m thankful, cause I remember times during my treatment when I could barely even get out of bed. 

Thankfully, my Covid antibody tests came back positive! Good timing with the recent surge. 😅 Thank you for specifically praying for this as I don’t take it for granted considering my compromised immune status. I saw that research from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society shows that about 1 in 4 blood cancer patients fail to produce detectable antibodies after Covid vaccination, leaving them vulnerable to infection. 

As we all navigate this ongoing pandemic and our own respective battles in the new year, may we continue to remain vigilant, wisely balancing caution with courage and faith.

Hope you all had a restful holiday season with your families and blessings in 2022!!