God of All my Days

I still vividly remember my eyes being swollen shut from tears for days after receiving the news of my diagnosis. As my thoughts went constantly to Grace and my kids, I recall one conversation that I had with my son that wrecked me. He asked me what he needed to do at home... taking out the trash, etc. I figured he meant while I was in the hospital, but I realized he was thinking about when I’d no longer be around... ever! He said, “I got it dad.” Those words coming from my 12 year-old broke my heart. Though I’d appreciate his help with the trash (which he’s done a great job with since then to this day  😙 ), this was way too early to be thinking like that. And that was a turning point in my heart and will that I needed to keep fighting as the Lord willed... to beat this cancer!  🥊🙏 During this cancer journey, I’ve read several books that were recommended by friends that have all provided such helpful insight and perspective on areas such as suffering and turning hope into a...

For the past week, I’ve been struggling with fevers, headaches, and weird muscle spasms. They said the spasms are most likely due to the prolonged steroids I’ve been on. And the headaches may be from bracing myself during my lovenox shots... my least favorite time of the day!  😬  But not sure bout the fevers. Anyway, I got checked out a few days ago at Perelman and got various tests and cultures. Thankfully I was covid negative and the other ones are still pending. Hopefully this will be a better week!  🙏 I recently enjoyed participating in a bone marrow transplant support group hosted by Penn which meets twice a month (virtually of course!)  😷  This is one avenue where I can get to meet other transplant recipients, to glean from their experiences and lessons as well as hopefully provide some encouragement to them as well. It was a small and cozy group of four of us transplant recipients with a few caregivers along with an oncology nurse and social worker who...

On the anniversary of that fateful day which we’ll never forget, we’re reminded of the frailty of human life as well as the power of love and sacrifice. Many fighters, both first responders as well as civilian folks, courageously gave of their lives and left a legacy.  We’ve all heard of stories like that of “the man with the red bandana”, Welles Crowther, an equities trader and volunteer firefighter who worked in the World Trade Center. Known for saving as many as 18 lives during the 9/11 attacks, he lost his own life as he tended to the wounded, helped put out fires, and guided people to safety including carrying some on his own back down many flights of stairs... only to go back up. Crowther's body was eventually found alongside several firefighters and emergency workers bunched in a suspected command post in the South Tower lobby, having willingly sacrificed his life while aiding the rescue effort when the building collapsed. As our kids now learn about 9/11 in their social stu...

Earlier this week, I noticed that my right arm was swollen. I’ve been on steroids, but it definitely wasn’t just bigger biceps.  💪  Rather, it was edema, and my right arm was about 3 centimeters bigger in circumference than normal.  So, the next morning, I got an ultrasound which revealed a clot in one of my deep veins. Thankfully, we found it early and it can be treated with daily anti-coagulant injections at home for the next few months. And another good thing is that I can keep my existing PICC line in to continue to do my infusions and blood draws. So, at the end of the day, this is just another bump in the road... on this road of recovery. In the midst of this potential emergency, Grace and I were thankful for God’s peace which filled our hearts and minds, and for how everything panned out all things considered.  😌 On that vane, God has been teaching me through this journey to trust Him and find things to be thankful for in the midst of apparent setbacks. For ...